As I cuddle them to my chest, sometimes together, sometimes one at a time, they smell of baby cereal and sweet milky breath. They are almost eight months old. I read other people's blogs, the monthly baby updates, and think, I will backtrack and do that! But there is never time to backtrack and start from where I left off. Inertia. To start writing again, I must just start writing. From here, where we are. And backtrack as I can. I feel that I have a lot to say, to document, to savor, to memorize, to process. Should I write about more of my feelings in this space, in addition to all the milestones and memories I want to record? Let's see how it goes. Back in high school I fancied myself a writer, and while now that is far from the truth, I still feel that pull to put words to paper (or to blog). I certainly have a lot of material!
It will be eight months on January 13. Eight months since my water broke at 4:00 am, and I sobbed. Out of panic, uncertainty, excitement. These babies, that I had spent 37 weeks protecting, were about to make their entrance into this world one way or another! Twins. Identical, as we would find out later. Jason still wakes up in the night sometimes to the babies crying and thinks "we have twins! We have four children!" Eight months since our prayers were answered and our babies were born strong and healthy. Eight months since we rejoiced as Nora Leilani and Maya Waileia joined our family. Eight months since we grieved that Jason's father and my step-mother would never get to meet the last additions to our family.
Eight months since caring for two babies came so naturally, since they have taken all except one or two feedings (pumping and bottle feeding did not fit into our schedule!) at the breast, all except a handful in tandem, two heads together, bodies touching and entwined. They are so familiar to each other from their time in the womb and in this world - heartbeats, breathing, smells. As they've grown, they started to interact with each other while they nursed, touching hands, holding hands, sucking on each other's fingers, pulling hair, stealing pacis. They are determined to reach all of their milestones ahead of their brothers. Not even eight months and they are pulling to standing, even thought they crawl on all fours only a few steps at a time.
They are amazing, the way they have fit so easily into our family. Of course we were meant to have identical twins, to have four children. We just didn't know it way back when, but we know it now. We love you, Nora and Maya! Thank you for giving us the blessing of raising you, of getting to be part of the wonder of raising identical twin girls. You have won our hearts, the hearts of your brothers, and everyone else who has met you.
Thank you for loving me, for snuggling me, and for filling my senses with the smells of sweet milky breath and baby cereal. I love you both so much!
The twins as newborns: